He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
