I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my shit smells like andre
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
