im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
