The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
