That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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