i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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