some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
