.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
