Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
