The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
