Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
