Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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