Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
