this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
