Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
