A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
