theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
