Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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