She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
