I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
