yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
