the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
