What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
