are you still at the devil's house?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
