Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
