Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
