If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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