he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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