I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
