I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
