I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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