we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
