She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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