is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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