Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
