summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He passed out mid-signature
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
