seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
