And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
