I wannas sexs uuuuu
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
