Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
