So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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