Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
