butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
