then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
