The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Randomize
