ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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