i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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