He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
