In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
