The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
